how did we get here?
by organisedhavoc
Summary: In which Derek is in like (love) with Casey and she's oblivious. You know, the usual.


_how did we get here?_

**_A/N: _****_Soooooooooooooooo. Hi! It's been three years I think and I've finally decided I want finish this story. It's my favourite thing I wrote in my youthier youth so I decided to revamp and finish it a little. Sorry for the wait? TL;DR how did we get here? will finally be finished! hopefully my writing's gotten better we'll see! Also imma be real witchu... I aint read this over after I finished it. But if anybody wanna be a volunteer beta and leave comments below! Have at it! Anyway enjoy!_**

_Shit. Shit shit _shit_. What the fuck was he going to _do?_ He fucked up. He fucked up royally. Like, if somebody tried to calculate how much he fucking fucked up on a scale of one to ten they would get a fucking twenty-seven._

_Fuck._

Derek Venturi had a bit of a predicament.

Well, it was actually kind of a massive predicament. One that involved a certain someone who's name started with a "C" and ended in an "-asey."

At some point between when she moved in and now, he may or may not have developed feelings (ugh) that weren't exactly brotherly – _step_ _\- step brotherly – _towards the aforementioned crazy as fuck female.

He wasn't really sure how it happened. She was _Casey,_ a textbook definition keener, klutzilla, and nerd extraordinaire. And beyond that she was unattainable. _Maybe that's why_. That whole forbidden fruit thing she had going on. Especially when he always (in a completely unorchestrated and decidedly _not creepy_ fashion) managed to catch her on her way out the bathroom.

Or maybe it was the fact that she was the only one who would get riled up by his (reluctantly admitted) childish actions and (at least attempt to) knock him down a peg. Maybe it

was the way her face would flush whenever they fought. The red shade spreading across her face, down her neck to her chest, and all the way to – a totally off-limits area that Derek is (unfortunately) never allowed to go. Maybe it was just because she was _Casey_.

Whatever it was that caused this sick (understandable; he was a boy and well she was a girl and he was hormonal okay; he doesn't really have a good excuse beyond that) attraction all he knew was that he was fucked. Fucking in like (love) with Casey McDonald. _Go figure._ He's sure his dad would get a kick out of that one.

* * *

His day had been pretty normal, which should have indicated to him that something bad was bound to happen.

Flopping down on his garage-sale-acquired-couch he turned on the TV and changed it to TSN. The Oilers had a game and he definitely wasn't going to miss it. _If they fuck this up, I'm going to be sick. _Right as he settles into the most comfortable corner of the couch the sharp trill of the doorbell drags him out of his thoughts and over to the door.

He pulls it open and leans against the doorframe prepared to politely (rudely) dismiss whoever thought it would be okay to visit him. And on _Oilers_ day no less.

"Don't shut the door!" a feminine voice screeches. He freezes. _Dammit. It's Casey_. If he's quiet enough he's sure he can hear the Windows shutdown sound emanating from his (now useless) brain.

When he's finally capable of thoughts beyond _Casey! Casey. Casey? _ he looks down to see her lifting an ungodly amount of grocery bags. He's probably (definitely) not going to get to watch the game today. He sighs and keeps his hand on the doorframe.

"What do you want?"

She ignores his rude greeting, "De-rek!" _Ah. Music to his ears._ She huffs, "I was thinking I could make you dinner, but since you seem to have forgotten how, you know, normal human beings act, I guess I'll be on my way." He grabs her arm as she turns away (and _no_ he is not blushing from the contact it's just hot outside fuck you) "Don't be like that Case." _Cue Derek Venturi smirk. _She shakes his arm off and pushes past him into the apartment.

"You've redecorated. Huh. Looked better the other way." He rolls his eyes and picks up the abandoned groceries off the floor. He stares as she makes her way through the living room, casually cleaning as she goes in a way only Casey McDonald can. It's weird seeing her in his space, a good weird, a he could get used to this weird. He blinks and focuses again. _Dammit Derek focus_.

He walks toward his criminally underused kitchen (cereal and pizza are key to a perfectly healthy diet thank you very much) and sets the bags on the island. "Casey." He shakes his head, "Casey Casey _Casey. _Don't you know it's Oilers day?" His smile becomes a little more genuine at the roll of her eyes. He's pretty sure that's not supposed to be cute. "If you missed me you could have just called. Or not called. That would have been great too."

She scoffs "Please Derek," she falls into him dramatically (which 1. when did she even get over here she was just by his couch a minute ago and 2. whatthefuckCaseyMcDonaldisinhisarms) and Derek has no option but to hold her up. (He supposes he could have dropped her, but he's matured a little. Just a little.) "You know you dream of hearing my voice and every day you don't is a little worse."

He responds in regular Derek fashion "Sounds more like a nightmare." It's all an act though. Once they started college, they stayed in touch more routinely than you'd expect from someone as flighty as Derek. (This was the first time she had stepped foot in his apartment though and he'll blame any and all non-Derek-Venturi-like actions on that fact.)

As much as he hated to admit it, he needed something to keep him sane amidst all the change. So yeah maybe the days he didn't talk to Casey did suck a little more. But she didn't have to know that.

He's drawn back to reality by the feeling of Casey leaving his arms. A part of him (okay all of him) misses her warmth but actually thinking that would be totally cheesy and non-Derek-Venturi-like of him so he pretends he never thought it. _Derek what the fuck you've become a fucking love- wait not love- _like_\- a fucking likesick monster. Get it together._

As she returns to her exploration of his abode, she reaches a particularly old and vile looking slice of pizza and shrinks back in disgust. "How can you _live_ like this?"

Well, he's also in like (read: love) with his step (never forget the step)-sister so he supposes leaving a slice of pizza out for a while isn't all that bad (or fucking taboo) in comparison.

He shrugs and flops back onto the couch attempting to watch the game he knows he probably (definitely) won't get to finish and there's a hip check and it's just getting good when "_De-rek_!" is heard a shrilly screech from down the hall. _Derek 2… Casey… _He pauses mid-thought because if he actually calculated how many points Casey has on him, he'd just be embarrassed.

He considers stuffing his head in a pillow and staying there until his sad shell of a life (seriously he's in like (love) with _Casey McDonald, _just kill him already before the stress that just emulates from her kills him itself) can end but then he remembers the game and realizes with resignation that he doesn't want to die before the games over (or before his last hope of Casey liking (loving) him back is decidedly crushed).

He at least wants to be alive until tomorrow to see the highlights of the game he probably (definitely) won't be able to watch. After which he will promptly stuff his head back into said pillow and finish what he started (should said last hope be crushed).

He sighs and trudges his way over to Casey another "_De-rek!"—that would be number 3 – _about to rip from her lungs right as he enters the room.

"Great! You're here now you can do the _dishes_ so I can-"

"Woah woah wait a minute Case," (he was older now and immature nicknames like Klutzilla and Space Case and Princess were reserved for the most special occasions. "Let me get this straight. You came into _my house-"_

Casey interjects "It's a flat you dumbass."

He places a hand over his heart. "Casey was that " he pauses for effect "an expletive I just heard come out of your mouth?"

She rolls her eyes again. She did that a lot around him. He thinks he likes it. "Oh, fuck off Derek."

The proximity of the words "fuck" and "Derek" shouldn't affect him as much as it does but since Derek is a _pathetic piece of shit_ his brain does the Windows shutdown thing again and he can't really say he's paid attention to anything else that's come out of her mouth.

When his stupid brain stops thinking stupid thoughts that would give Derek Jr. a stupid problem his ears start functioning (barely) again.

"You have an even worse mouth than I do. It's probably your fault I curse as much as I do anyway." She grimaces, " I was talking to Marti the other day and I said 'shit' like it was nothing and she almost had a heart attack." He nods a little dumbly. _Am I supposed to be making fun of her right now? Fuck if Casey cursing isn't the hottest thing he's ever heard. Focus Derek. FOCUS._

He must look pretty dazed because suddenly fingers are snapping in front of his face. "Derek?" Why is your face so red?" She placed her hands on her hips "Did you hear anything I just said."

"Huh." _I was actually fantasizing about you panting my name but since that's not exactly Casey friendly information, I think I'll just stick with 'huh.'_

He said it again in what he hoped (it wasn't) a more convincing manner. He mentally slaps himself, _maybe he could get Casey to do it for him? And, what the fuck Derek. What the fuck. Did you really just think that._

"Huh? Case I'm still having trouble accepting the fact you've wormed your way into my home. You expecting me to be able to process the presence of vermin in my house and what said vermin is saying at the same time is a little bit much don't you think?" He shakes his head "You're letting your expectations get too high."

He sighs relieved because coming up with insults for his (hot) step (emphasis on the step)-sister was a lot less mentally taxing than coming to terms with his growing affections for said (hot) step (emphasis on the step)-sister.

He couldn't look at her for fear of what stupid fantasy his stupid brain would cook up this time, but he was pretty sure she'd rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time since she'd walked through his door. She ignores his jab (the only downside of Case growing up was her growing resistance to his taunts (though Derek would tell himself it was because she was incapable of response due to her spastic tendencies)).

"What I was saying before you so kindly called me vermin." She glares at him pointedly and he thinks he just may get his very own Casey McDonald insult. He's coming up with his speech to thank the academy (_I must thank Nora for producing such combative offspring, George for marrying Nora, Lizzie for not desensitizing her to childish taunts, and Emily-) _for such an amazing honor when Casey begins her verbal tirade.

He thinks he's grinning. Should he be grinning?

"Which by the way is completely hypocritical since you live in a literal pig sty. Seriously I'm surprised I haven't seen any," she makes finger quotes and rolls her eyes, "'vermin' in _here_." She pauses sending Derek a fake smile "Other than me of course." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and Derek would think her flushed frustrated face was really sexy if- nope it was just really sexy.

He wonders how far the blush reaches and- _nonono nope now is not the time. Do you really want to deal with a third brain shut down Derek? Keep it in your pants Venturi._

Derek just smiles (it's the one he reserves solely for annoying Casey, it's a little crooked and a bit too wide but he thinks it fits). "What did you want me for again? You know while I don't care, I also probably won't listen, but you know how it is. I'm trying to be kinder."

Casey's eyes narrow even more. _This is going to be fun_. Before she can get in a scathing remark, he finishes his thought. "It's very important to treat animals with respect you know."

She shakes her head as if she shouldn't have expected anything more. "It is. I guess that's why it's such a pig sty in here. You must be trying to appease the pigs that have got to be in here somewhere for it to look so terrible." She shivers clearly revolted by well, everything about him.

"Aww Case don't you know the rules. You can't repeat an insult." He sighs "Guess you lost."

"Did not."

"Case I know you enjoy engaging in juvenile pursuits but-"

"Wow Derek that's a three-syllable word you can finally go to third grade."

He feels like he's in high school again and he sneers. "Keener."

"Jerk."

"Klutzilla."

"I haven't even tripped although I'm surprised I've somehow managed to stay upright in this." She looks around and upturned her nose "I don't think I can find a proper word for this. Pigsty doesn't even do it justice."

He puffs up his chest and stands proudly. _Is this childish? It seems a little childish._ "Thank you. I'm just glad it made you speechless if only for a moment." He tilts his head towards her as if he has a secret to tell her. "Have I told you how much I hate the sound of your voice?"

It looks like the familiar "_De-Rek!" _is about to rip from her lungs so for his own sanity he cuts her off "Also, Case, you can't just keep breaking the rules like this. Don't you have anything else to attack other than my admittedly clear cleanliness issues?"

"Yes. Let's see: your inferior intelligence, your subpar hockey skills," He gasps but she doesn't let it deter her. She reaches for his head "And your stupid messy hair." She ruffles it even more and Derek squirms away from her hand even though another grosser part of him (every part of him) wants to lean into it.

She's not finished "And fuck, sorry I can't focus anymore I think I might be contracting a gaseously transmitted disease. This place _reeks_. I know cleanliness is supposedly_" _she makes finger quotes and rolls her eyes "'off limits' but how did you even manage to get it to smell that bad in here."

There was that word again and he's in the same predicament as before, stuttering "huh" and insulting her to evade the nightmare (dream) that damn _word_ conjured in his thoughts. She has no idea the effect she has on him.

"Shouldn't you be leaving? You've already been here too long, and I have an Oilers game to watch and I don't see any dinner so there's really no reason for you to be here."

"Derek that's what I called you in here for in the first place, but you went and started with your childish taunts-" she raised her hand as Derek's mouth opened "Don't even." His mouth shut. If she's going to cook he guesses he can keep his mouth closed. For now.

"Now do the fucking dishes so we don't have to eat off your filthy ass floor."

"Ok Case now it's just excessive."

"Just shut up and do the dishes."

"Aye aye Captain." He did want dinner after all. And if his position at the sink gave him the perfect view of Casey while she was cutting vegetables, that was between Derek and his stupid brian.

As she cooks and he washes the dishes, his penchant for snide comments earn him approximately twelve more "De-rek!"s which are almost as bad if not worse than the "fuck"s.

He's every bit a masochist and barely an overachiever (only in all things Casey) so he's trying to bring it up to twenty.

At some point Derek finishes the dishes and Casey the food. He made it to nineteen.

* * *

Side by side they eat. Amidst the clanging of spoon to bowl his thoughts start to betray him again. He thinks it's unfair how he can't control his own brain. But he finds it fitting that the person who does is probably the biggest control freak he's ever met.

Back to his stupid brain. He goes through this a lot. He can't count how many times he's had to remind himself that – as an established masochist – the only person he's ever had genuine (ew) feelings for would be his step (emphasis on the step)-sister and that for all intents and purposes she was still in fact off limits. Even with that four-letter word that preceded the more important word, "sister" (gross) in his face.

It's still quiet. There's no noise in his flat beyond the sound of chewing and the low drawl of the hockey commentators. His brain is moving faster than he can track. _Is the game over yet? How long has she been here? I don't want her to leave._

Finally, _finally, _the not-so-weird silent separation has been broken. He doesn't think he and Casey have ever gone that long without antagonizing each other before.

She's looking at him with content and excited eyes – the kind he never really sees directed at him except for when he has those rare "good Derek" moments. _God, he hates that guy. Always doing the right thing and making Casey make that face and it just revolts him (no it doesn't)._

Her whole visit has felt oddly domestic – them bantering like an old married couple and the cooking and the cleaning and he thinks maybe he could do this. He thinks maybe he could somehow live a lifetime like this with a girl (read: Casey) and not hate it.

He had pledged to a life of bachelordom but there Casey goes, ruining his plans like she always does. _Going to work and coming home. Coming home to Casey-_

"I'm engaged!"

(And there she goes again, ruining another one of his plans.)

Derek's carefully fabricated ideal Casey and Derek world comes crashing down. Dreams of a domestic life with Casey are warped. His face replaced with some no name guy who isn't her step (emphasis on the step; although it doesn't seem like it matters much anymore) - brother.

Someone who isn't complicated and fits that perfect little cookie cutter box Casey has always wanted. Someone who works for her. Someone safe. Exactly what she needs. Someone to tone down her crazy. Casey was never the type to heed his advice and "live a little dangerously."

If Derek was a good step (emphasis on the step- oh fuck it) -brother he would be happy for Casey and not feel broken on the inside. If Derek was a good step-brother there wouldn't be a current of emotion ripping through his heart. If Derek was a good step-brother he would be congratulating Casey instead of feeling a million and one things he shouldn't feel.

But Derek isn't a good step-brother. And since Derek doesn't do this feelings shit (no matter how easy it would be right now to pour his heart out to Casey and tell her everything he shouldn't) he nods and smiles.

Derek's a genius when it comes to lying and even better at pretending. He thinks he can pretend for a little while. At least until she gets out the door. If he can make it that long.

Everything all makes sense now. Why she showed up unannounced. Why she didn't bite back at every remark he made. Why she decided to cook him dinner.

It was almost as if she had known. Like she wanted to let him down easy. If only she knew. He smiles bitterly. Actually, that's probably not a good idea she would probably have somewhere around eight neurotic breakdowns.

And then Derek's brain stops and he's almost grateful for the mental stillness. In the calm he realizes that he is completely, utterly, and truly fucked.

In like (love) with a girl (his step (emphasis on the step although it definitely (probably) doesn't matter anymore)-sister) that he can't have. Even more off limits than she was before. This time the whole forbidden fruit thing isn't sexy. It's just fucked up.

All Derek can think is, well all he can think is:

_Fuck._

* * *

Derek was happy (no he wasn't). Ecstatic honestly (he _really_ wasn't).

Casey was getting _married_.

Casey was _getting_ married

_Casey_ was getting _married_?

He tested out the different inflections in his head; hoping he could somehow make the situation make more sense (needless to say it didn't work.)

It's not like Derek ever actually expected them to like- actually get together. (Unless they were like drunk at a wedding or something and all that unresolved sexual tension from their youth came back bubbling from the depths. In which case he strongly expected? (hoped) it would happen. Because even if he only got Casey for a night of mutual (Derek wasn't a dick despite popular belief) drunk accidental body feeling well, it would probably be the best night of his life.)

But that didn't mean it was okay (okay with _him_) for her to go _marrying_ this other dude. (If Casey could hear his thoughts right now and totally ignored the whole him being in like (love) with her she'd say he's being super misogynistic and possessive right now). He'd never even _met_ him. He doesn't know his name although he's sure Casey's probably mentioned it on the phone before.

(He'd always made a point of avoiding acknowledging Casey's romantic exploits unless he had the sole purpose of ruining/ending them. And, since it was a little difficult to portray Casey's crazy as fuck ways over the phone, well Derek had decided to ignore the fuck out of this dude. It was working pretty well until the whole "I'm engaged!" thing happened).

Come to think of it. He's pretty sure his name was Dave.

_God he_ fucking_ hated Dave._

_Dave _would get to do all the things Derek could only fantasize of doing. Like going grocery shopping with Casey, and watching movies with Casey, and eating dinner with Casey and – ok Derek could still do all these things, but_ Dave_ would fucking get to _be_ with Casey (like in the lovey sense.)

The bastard probably didn't even realize how lucky he was.

His catastrophic train of thought that potentially could have led to him butting is head into the wall for hours on end was interrupted by Casey's fingers snapping in his face. _She was still here? God how long had he been mourning a relationship that never even existed?_

"Derek what were you doing? I've never seen you think that hard in... well, ever."

He's still shocked and just a little bit (a lot) broken, but she looks like she's going to start counseling him, so he responds in typical Derek Venturi fashion, a fake smirk on his face. It sounds hollow to his own ears, just like him, but it's the best he's got.

"I was just lamenting the loss of that poor guy's mental state." He shakes his head hoping it will convince her and himself that he's not being fucking ripped to shreds on the inside. Each word feels like an added weight on his shoulders, a reminder of what he can't have, and it _hurts_.

(He thinks he sees her face flicker with concern for a moment and that she's seen right through him, but she as she blinks, it disappears).

Next thing he knows her eyes are rolling and she's shaking her head with a fond (he at least hopes it was, it's the only thing keeping him from ramming his head into a wall) look on her face completely unaware of the immense pain she's caused him.

"He has no fucking idea what he's getting into." _Or how badly I wish I was him _he thinks lamely. _God Derek you are fucking pathetic._

Casey's red face and Derek's choice of words sink into his brain and he has a horrible realization. _Dave's probably gotten into Casey. _He feels sick, like he used to before his hockey games, maybe even worse.

_Oh God._

The final shred of his sanity snaps and he knows he has to get Casey out of his house before he does something stupid like verbally admitting the feelings he's had for her since they were fifteen.

So, Derek in completely un-Derek like fashion, discomposed and frazzled, takes Casey's plate and basically throws it in the sink, thanks her for the food, and pushes her out the door. All the while she's saying "De-_rek" _and_ "_What the_ fuck?" _And it just makes the situation suck more.

Those fantasies of being with Casey are being fulfilled with some other dude. Just like his (thwarted and crushed) dreams were taken and ripped to shreds, his face replaced with "_Dave's_."

After he gets Casey out the door, he leans against it and sinks (it's just like how the girls do it in the overly dramatic movies, but he'll never admit it.) He hears her contemplate coming back in before the sound of her feet hitting the ground grow fainter and fainter as the distance between the two grows both physically and emotionally (even if Casey isn't aware of the second one). It's a wide chasm that Derek never got the chance to try and throw his heart across.

If he tried now it'd fall short and into the abyss. He doesn't know if he could stand that.

(He supposes he's being a little dramatic but he's a songwriter and his heart is broken. He's pretty sure he's entitled.)

The first few weeks are the worst. He'd wake up and the first thing that would run through his mind would be the memory of her squealing those words. "I'm engaged!"

_Fucking Dave._

He doesn't answer any calls. He can't because he knows if he does, he'll break. He'll break into a million tiny pieces and cry on the floor like a fucking sissy and he can't do it. He just can't.

Instead of wallowing around like the sad sack of shit he is, he throws himself into his schoolwork (which is kind fitting because he's getting over Casey McDonald, keener of the century) and hockey. He's more aggressive and the coach has to take him to the side on more than one occasion to tell him to tone it down just a bit.

He goes on like this for a while until a reality check comes in the form of Sam.

He's sitting there on the couch, the TV not much but background noise to his aimless thoughts that are mainly just _Don't think about Casey Don't think about Casey _Don't_ think about _Casey. He knows it's a little counterintuitive but he's not exactly thinking straight right now because he just _can't think about Casey._

He's tried everything, he's done his schoolwork (even assignments due weeks from now), done his laundry, and cleaned the house when "_It's a flat you dumbass-" _rings through his stupid stupid brain.

This, of course, brings about a series of Casey quotes.

_"De-rek you have to dust first you filthy monster," "Hey intellectually lacking asshat, that's not how you put away the dishes. The plates go in here and the bowls-" and fuck he's thinking about Casey (again)_. He's looking for something else to clean or to organize, anything to get his mind off of _her _(his fucking step (emphasis on the- oh fuck it)- sister), when the doorbell rings.

Derek slinks over to the door ready to tell whoever's on the other side to fuck off (unless it's a girl scout, he could use something sweet right now).

He swings it open and sees Sam's familiar face and trademark floppy hair covered with his signature beanie. He'd always been predictable. That's probably why Casey liked him so- _fuck he's thinking about her again. He's terrible at this._

At some point Sam must have spoken because he's looking at him expectantly. Derek musters the best smirk he can in his state, brings Sam in for a hug, and claps him on the back. Even though he dated his step-sister the guy still had a place in his ice cold (it's really not) heart.

"Hey man." Sam's smiling at him and he realizes he's missed this. He'd seen him at practice but since "_I'm engaged!_" Derek's kind of been avoiding the whole human interaction thing.

But since Derek's cool and he can't speak for fear of Sam realizing that he's been acting like this because of his fucking step-sister he just opens the door and gestures him inside.

Sam walks in and looks more confused than Derek's ever seen him. "Dude. Why is it so _clean_ in here?" He snaps his head at him and squints "Who are you and what have you done with Derek Venturi."

Derek smirk breaks and his laugh comes out brittle "What's up Sam? Did you come to watch the hockey game?"

Now Sam looks as if Derek told him something unbelievable. "Bro. There's no game today." He pauses waiting for Derek to nod in affirmation. "You know that." He mumbles something and Derek almost misses it but he's pretty sure he heard a Casey in there somewhere.

"What'd you say?" _Shit did he sound too eager._

"Oh no dude I didn't say anything."

There's a heavy pause.

"It's just, Casey thought there might be something wrong. She said you haven't been answering any of her calls."

Derek just stares at him.

"And she sent me here to check on you and there's definitely something wrong because you didn't remember there wasn't a hockey game today and your house is fucking clean-"

"It's a flat you dumbass."

Sam looks slightly confused "Whatever man, well your _flat_ is fucking clean and" Seeing Derek's blank face he decides to change direction "_Anyway_. You _clearly_ need to get out of here so let's go play some hockey."

Derek shrugs "Sure I don't care."

"Ok something's definitely up. I've never seen you like this before." Sam sighs. "This is gonna take more than hockey. This is gonna take girls. And lots of 'em."

Sam starts pulling on his jacket "Come on Derek we're going to the first party we can find."

"I'm good. I think I'll just stay home. You go though. Have fun and be safe."

"'Have fun and be safe?'" He sounded almost offended. _Is he being weird? Derek doesn't think he's being weird._ Sam continues "This is just weird." _I guess not._ "Now I gotta pull out the big guns."

Sam pulled out a chair and sat directly in front of him. "We need to _talk_ buddy."

Derek yawns suddenly too tired to do anything else but sulk. He just wants to sleep and forget _"I'm engaged!" _ever happened. He's about to tell Sam to leave him (the fuck) alone so he can sleep when he asks him another question.

"Really what's wrong man? You said no to _girls_. Never in the history of our friendship have I ever heard you say no to _girls."_

_Well that's because the only one he wanted was unavailable. (There he admitted it and he swore he (probably) wouldn't do it again.)_

_"_I'm just tired. Hockey's been taking a lot out of me lately."

"Maybe that's because you've been picking a fight with everyone on the ice."

Derek grimaces "Well I've been a bit on edge. Everything's been bothering me lately." There that was all Derek would say about the subject he was done. He wasn't going to say anything else he would get over it and- "Casey's engaged." _Stupid brain, stupid mouth. Who let him exist. They made a mistake._

"_What_."

_Fuck._

"Casey's engaged." Derek said it again. _Why the fuck did I say it again? _That weird little area where his heart is supposed to be feels empty.

"And what does that have to do with anything."

He looks at Derek for a minute and he_ knows. _

His voice is ten times softer. "Listen Derek, if you want to talk-"

"Actually, I think it's time for you to go." _I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk about this. _

"Derek."

"I said I think it's time for you to leave."

"Derek please there's nothing wrong with liking Casey."

The dam breaks (again). _I guess I'm talking about this. _

"Really Sam because I think there are a lot of things wrong with loving Casey. First of all, she's my step-sister. I'm supposed to be protecting her from the guys who want to do the type of shit I want to do to her. Second of all, our parents are married-"

He pauses, his chest heaving with heavy breaths. "I could go on, but I think you get the idea."

"Listen Derek-"

"You know what Sam just- please don't. I'll see you at practice." _If I ever leave this fucking house (flat) again._

He shoved him out the door and slammed it. Now he could have his neurotic breakdown in peace. He looked down at his hands. _You really did a number on me didn't you Case._

He really just can't believe he said it. Like out loud. From his vocal cords, out his mouth and into the atmosphere. He fucking said it. He felt the words in his throat. He was choking on them. He felt them in the air, weighing down the room.

Derek Venturi has been in love with Casey McDonald since he was fifteen and he's always known it. But he's never actually said it. It felt different somehow. More tangible, accessible and real. It was almost scarier than the reality of being in love with her itself.

It hit him like a fucking bulldozer. He was in love with Casey McDonald. His step-sister. Who was getting married.

_Fuck._

Derek had a plan. The rational part of his brain supposes if he's going through the whole seven stages of grief thing, he must still be going through the denial part if he really thinks this will work.

Derek was going to make his step-sister fall in love with him.

He could do it. He was Derek Venturi. And he wanted Casey.

And well, what Derek Venturi wants, Derek Venturi gets.

* * *

He glares at the screen.

**TOP FIVE DATE IDEAS TO REIGNITE THE FIRE IN YOUR DYING RELATIONSHIP**

He glares harder. _Wow. _When he said he was coming up with a plan he didn't expect it to be this _lame_.

_Whatever. Casey loves this kind of corny shit. Dave, get ready to get fucked. And NOT in the fun way._

He scrolls.

**TOP FIVE DATE IDEAS TO REIGNITE THE FIRE IN YOUR DYING RELATIONSHIP**

1\. Hot Air Balloon

2\. Amusement Park

3\. Brunch

4\. Concert

5\. Watch the Sunrise

If Derek Venturi was not an idiot in denial (but he is), he would close the browser and have a thousand more dollars in his bank account right now. The truth is, having a plan is the only thing preventing him from hurling himself off his balcony. (Yes, he's on the first floor, but it'd still hurt.)

He looks at the list the same way he would a rabid dog. Blinks. Decides. He could do this. Five dates. Five chances to get Casey to fall in love with him. Easy peasy.

i. hot air balloon

"Spacey! Klutzilla! Princess! How you been!" The line is quiet. He probably deserves it. He did kind of go radio silent on her for a week (two). Not that anybody's counting or anything (except he is, he is definitely counting).

After another beat of silence, he knows he has to bite the bullet and, he shivers where he lies on his bed, _apologize._ God knows how difficult it was for Derek to even pick up the phone and call Casey in the first place. Much less apologize. _This is hard. This is so hard._

He sighs. "Listen Case-"

"Fuck you, Derek." He winces and she continues. "Don't do that again."

The sincerity in her voice makes his heart break in the worst way imaginable. _I am so stupid._

"Yeah Case. I swear." It's the genuine voice that he previously reserved only for Marti. Recently Casey has been on the receiving end of it more than he'd like to admit, at least, she was before "I'm engaged!" happened.

She sighs. "I'm not wasting my energy being mad at you anymore Derek. We're too old for that now."

His chest squeezes; it was another reminder of how long they'd been tied together. It's almost too much. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. _No time for that now._ He has a plan to execute. "Well Case, as you are well aware. I'm allergic to emotions. So, tell me," he smiles, he can't believe he almost sacrificed this over fucking _Dave_, "What's up?"

They talk longer than they usually would. What can typically be said in one hour is said in four, but Derek's not complaining. And he hopes Casey's not. And Dave, well he couldn't really give two fucks about Dave.

It's scary how easy it is for them to go back to normal. He gets twenty-seven _"De-rek!"_s within the first hour of the call. It feels right. _Take that Dave. _

Conflict corrected and another three hours later, they've agreed to spend more time together. If you told Derek he'd be voluntarily spending time with Casey when he was in high school, he wouldn't have believed you (but he would have wanted to).

Their first excursion is a surprise. (For Casey).

He picks her up in the Prince ("Derek have you cleaned this monstrosity since George gave it to you?" He smiles toothily back at her "You and I both know the answer to that question.") and she relentlessly interrogates him about where they're going for the whole ride.

He doesn't budge, even when she threatens to recite sonnets the whole way. He's not surprised when she actually does, and he won't tell her this but maybe Shakespeare made a point when he compared his love to a summer's day, because she could definitely outshine the sun. _God Derek. You are capital "W" Whipped._ In a strange way, he doesn't really mind.

When he's five minutes out he tells her to close her eyes. It feels like a date. He knows it's not because 1. "I'm engaged!" and 2. step-siblings. _Don't forget. You're trying to win her over but don't forget._

He parks on a grassy field and he can see the hot air balloon a few meters away. He puts his index finger to his lips when the guide comes into view and continues to lead Casey over. He's surprised her eyes are still closed. She never was one to listen to him. He moves his hand from over her eyes and gets ready to gauge her reaction.

"Wow." And fuck he wishes he had his camera right now. Her awed face in the light is something he never wants to forget. He doesn't think he'd be able to even if he tried.

It all feels a little too real to him. In an effort to preserve his own sanity he calls for (antagonizes) her. "Spacey." She turns and he tries to smirk, but it comes out warmer than he'd like to admit, "What? Never seen a hot air balloon before?" She just hugs him, and he thinks if this is what heaven was like, he'd be fine dying right then and now.

Hours later, they get off the balloon. The guide looks at Derek as he and Casey start toward the car "I hope you and your girlfriend had a great time." He waits for Casey to rebuff him and make that space where his heart should be a little more hollow.

When she says nothing, he feels the beginning of hope.

* * *

ii. amusement park

This was a horrible idea. Derek's eyes follow the roller coaster – _you_ _mean death trap_ – as it moves along the track, faster than he's ever wanted his body to be moved before. They're next. He hears a laugh to his right and sees Casey try to cover it up with a cough.

He hardens his gaze "Haha real funny laugh at the guy with a legitimate fear of," his eyes widen as they follow the coaster again, "whatever the fuck that is." An older woman glares at him while covering her son's ears and turning away. He winces and mouths an apology but she's not paying attention to him anymore.

_Why did he think this would be a good idea? Does he really like Casey this much? Like really really? _

He swallows down his fear (if only so that Casey stops laughing at him, he has a reputation to uphold for Christ's sake) and looks her in the eye. This time she can't hold in her laugh. She grabs his cheeks and juts her bottom lip out "Aww is big, bad, Derek scared of a wittle rollercoaster." (And that definitely should not be hot. God, he is in dire need of professional help.) He pushes her hand away and rolls his shoulders back. _I can do this. No biggie. _

There's a smart retort on the edge of his tongue but next thing he knows the bored teenager in charge of the ride (who he's sure could give two fucks about their safety) is yelling "Next!" and Casey is dragging him excitedly to his death or life threatening injury. If he has to die, at least it will be with his hand in Casey's. He figures it's one of the better ways to go.

In short, the day is full of Derek screaming. (The manly kind he insists, to which Casey responds, "Derek, you sounded like Marti when we tried to make her watch _Poltergeist_). He'd still call it a success. (And no, it's not because he got to hold her hand on all the rides (but maybe that's part of it)).

* * *

iii. brunch

_Eggs. Multigrain, is that the kind she likes or is it wheat? _He picks up both._ Avocado. Goat Cheese. Roasted Red Pepper. Olive oil. _He scans the shelves and his list one last time.

_How does Nora do this on a regular basis? _When he's absolutely positive he hasn't forgotten anything, he goes to checkout. He hands twenty bucks over to the cashier who looks like she'd rather be doing literally anything else, and not for the first and definitely not for the last time wonders _what the fuck am I doing? _

Casey is engaged. Twenty-five percent of his brain has processed this, but the seventy five percent still intent on pursuing Casey (his step-sister, in case you forgot) seems to be decidedly ignoring this fact.

_Whatever. I have a breakfast – er brunch – to make._

Back in his kitchen Derek realizes this is going to be a lot easier than he thought (the five failed poached eggs in the trash beg to differ but he's pretending they don't exist). A fried egg (fuck those YouTube videos it literally cannot be possible) on top of toasted multigrain (and wheat) bread with sliced avocado, goat cheese, roasted red pepper, and drizzled with olive oil. _Eat your fuckin heart out Gordon Ramsey. _

He'd tweet a photo if he didn't fear being publicly dragged by the celebrity chef. He's imagining the interaction when the doorbell drags him back to reality.

He runs to the mirror to fix his hair (_What the FUCK Derek?), _and after a deep breath (because he's a total fucking pussy), opens the door. He doesn't see anybody there and he's ready to curse off whatever stupid ass kid was fucking with him when Casey pops out from behind the door and scares the fuck out of him. _Derek… really dude. _

eH He clears his throat because _Fuck that was embarrassing_ and waves Casey in. She's holding a bag and he almost vomits. Everything about this image reminding him of that day she ripped his heart out and tore it into fifty little pieces. He clears his throat again. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

Casey's talking and he can't hear so he just nods. She takes out orange juice and champagne. _Hm. Mimosas. Didn't peg her as the day drinking type, but I didn't peg her as the engaged type either so._

"No way you made this Derek."

He can't find the words to taunt her right now, so he just smiles. He takes the time to really look at her. She's in a sundress and her hair looks soft (like it always does but that is one of many thoughts that will be locked up in his brain). _Gross_.

They sit. Side by side just like last time. They fight. Just like last time. When they're finished though, Casey just says thanks and walks out. Times like these is when he's not sure if she's real or somebody he just created in some corner of his mind. Regardless. He feels lighter than he does anytime she's not with him.

* * *

iv. concert

He won't lie. He's been dreading this one. He's willing to do a lot for Casey, he really is. Taking his life in his hands on a roller coaster for one, but two hours listening to a band of _Casey's_ choosing sounds in all honesty, fucking horrible.

He knows her music taste. He lived next to it for four years. He can't say it inspires confidence _God help me. _

He picks Casey up and prepares for an assault on his eardrums.

He'll keep this one short.

The music: shitty. Casey smiling and singing along to the worst music he's ever heard in his life: less shitty (perfect).

* * *

v. watch the sunrise

This one kind of happens on accident.

They'd been hanging out beyond the set Five Dates To Make Casey Fall In Love With Him so she came over to watch a movie. There are moments where he's deluded himself into thinking they're dating. (This is one of them). Then he remembers a problem, specifically a Dave-sized problem.

Speaking of (ew) _Dave_, he's kind of in shock that Casey even has time to be doing all these things with him. Shouldn't she be doing the engaged people things engaged people do? And she doesn't really mention him a lot given, you know, the fact they are set to be committed to each other for the rest of their lives. He's can't really say he's mad at it though. He grimaces a little, realizing that he is basically trying to be a homewrecker. _Oh well. Karma and all that. _

Focusing his attention back to the girl that fell asleep on his shoulder (Casey had passed out before they even got to find out that Ed Norton was Brad Pitt) he smiles to himself. Reluctant to move lest said girl wake up he tries to finish the movie and before he knows it, he's asleep.

When he comes to, he sees Casey's face pressed up against the window. She must hear him rustling around because she waves him over. "De-rek!" he wonders how she has the energy to exclaim that this early in the morning, "Come over here the sun's rising."

He drags his feet over to the window. She's making that face again. The same one she made at the hot air balloon, the roller coaster, his brunch, and that horrible fucking band. It makes him want to kiss her. It has every time. This time though, he figures he has nothing to lose. So, he does it.

Wait a minute you thought he _kissed _her? Are you insane? He doesn't want to get slapped today. He garners every bit of bravery in his body and says, voice practically a whisper, "Case?"

"What Derek?" How she can sound so annoyed while looking so calm is totally beyond him.

He pauses for a bit, gathers his thoughts. "I think I'm. I think I'm in love with you?" It sounds more like a question than the confident declaration of love he was planning on delivering but hey, he _said _it.

She laughs. She _fucking _laughs. "You know I kind of guessed that." _Wait a second what? Casey's a nervous wreck when it comes to boys. She'd never-_

"You weren't really subtle with all those dates Derek."

Derek is confused to say the least.

"Casey, aren't you gonna like yell at me or something."

She cocks her head. "I think I'll save that for later." She's leaning in. _Is she gonna choke him? Slap him? _He didn't kiss her for this exact reason and now he's about to be murdered. _Great. Fan-fucking-tastic._

Her lips are almost on his when he realizes. _Oh. OH.  
_

It takes every grain of restraint to twist his head away. _What is he doing? Isn't this what he wanted?_

"Case, wait stop."

She looks confused and a little hurt. Derek's a little confused. Shouldn't he be angry? This isn't playing out like he thought it would at all. He expected to get rejected and never talk to Casey again for the rest of his life. Maybe exchange awkward small talk during Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not for Casey to try and fucking _kiss _him.

"What are you doing? What am _I _doing? You're fucking engaged. What is wrong with me? What is _wrong _with me? What about Dave?"

Casey laughs again and he squints. He has to be missing something here.

"Who the fuck is Dave?"

He is more confused than he's ever been in his life. In fact, he needs a better word at this point. He's perplexed. That seems right. He's fucking perplexed.

"Uh, your fiancé." And she's laughing _again_.

"Derek are you dumb? _Damian _and I_,"_ she stresses the name and Derek feels a flicker of recognition _(oh, that's his name) _"broke up months ago. I've been single for months."

_Wait._

_Wait wait wait._

_Derek needs a minute here. He's been cursing, a nonexistent fiancé for about three months now. _

_Wow. Something still doesn't make sense._

"Then why did you say you were engaged and come over and make me dinner that day and more importantly why did you tell me you were _engaged."_

She slaps her forehead. And wow Derek is really dumb. Like another plane of dumb.

"Derek. You complained about missing homecooked meals on the phone to me like two days before that."

_Oh. He kind of did remember saying that. But that still doesn't explain "I'm engaged."_

"And," Here's_ the part he really needs to listen to, _"I was talking about my work Derek."

He's really fucking dumb.

"If you were a better listener," she narrows her eyes at him and he shrinks back a little, "you maybe would have heard me finish my sentence instead of pushing me out the door."

Derek is relieved. And a little embarrassed. But mostly relieved.

He smiles slightly and goes back in for the kiss. This time she turns her head.

"I can't believe you tried to seduce me with a _Buzzfeed_ list Derek."

"I was desperate Casey."

"Clearly."

This time when she goes in for a kiss he doesn't turn away.

If it weren't for his sheer stupidity, none of this would have happened. He laughs into the kiss.

_Thanks Dave._

_Fin._


End file.
